Month: June 2010

Sofia Coppola Debuts “Somewhere” Poster + Trailer


For whatever reason I’ve apparently had my head so far up my ass over the course of the past week, enough to miss huge news and updates from the lastest project, Somewhere, from my favorite director in all of film; Sofia Coppola.

The first full-length trailer and official poster were released last week and all I can say is I’m nothing short of epicly GEEKED beyond words. The film feautures usual Coppola staples…a muted color palette, placid (and a tad timid) cinematography, and fantastic music from Phoenix (Coppola is married to the band’s frontman, Thomas Mars).

If I can gather anything from the trailer, it’s that the film will be a signature Coppola piece…doing for LA what Lost in Translation did for Tokyo.

As if we haven’t been waiting long enough, the release date is currently set for December 22nd, 2010 (in a very wise bid to gun for Oscars, something Marie Antoinette stumbled with due to its just-outside-Oscar-season October release back in 2006).

The film was also a no-show at all of the major film festivals thus far in 2010, which prompted some industry analysts to question the studio’s confidence in the film (or perhaps, their reluctance to show the film at Cannes, where Coppola’s last film, Marie Antoinette, was met with extremely vocalized negative backlash immediately after the showing).

Regardless, I’m nothing short of amazed with the trailer…not to mention beyond excited.

Click here for the amazing trailer.

Lady Gaga to Announce Album Title on 1/1/11!


According to GagaDaily’s Twitter…


If there is any truth to this whatsoever (they’re usually right about everything they report about her), I’m pissed I have to wait another 6 months. But in all seriousness, that’s super exciting.

Photo-Forward; Seeing the World Through Jenn Hoffman’s Eyes

An Interview by Joey Nolfi

Jenn Hoffman – Photographer

Photobucket(above: Portrait of Jenn Hoffman)

To put it simply, through a photographer’s eyes the world becomes a different place. It is their visionary, imaginative, and creative point of view that enables the rest of us to see things from (literally) an entirely different angle. And judging from the looks of the extensive images in the portfolio of photographer Jenn Hoffman, that world is an artistically-chic and edgy playground inhabited by some of the fiercest people on the planet.

From visionary conceptuals, stunning fashion pieces, classic wedding photos with a contemporary twist, to celebrity portraits (we’ll get to that in a minute) of some of the hottest names in fashion, Hoffman’s portfolio is as diverse as the people she shoots. From models of all skin colors, backgrounds, and roles in the fashion world to actors, actresses, and ordinary people that don’t fall into any specific category, Jenn Hoffman has shot them all. “I love to shoot all kinds of people, but my personal favorite are fashion models! Tall, skinny, interesting faces…so fun!” says Hoffman, and that’s definitely apparent in her work; some of her clients include top outlets for models such as the LA Models agency in California, magazines such as Fiasco, and even international publications such as Popcorn Magazine in Germany.

Celebrity clients are also nothing new to Jenn Hoffman. Hoffman has shot Hollywood actors and actresses, notably Danielle Harris, one of the stars of the recent Halloween remake. Hoffman has even worked with modeling royalty like Janice Dickinson, for whom she shot a promo for Season 4 of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Hoffman says that Dickinson “…was just AMAZING! She knew her modeling, so when I was shooting her I barely had to say anything!” and that she enjoyed working with some of the male models from Dickinson’s agency as well, most notably Brian Kehoe and Paul Vandervort.

Photobucket(above: Supermodel Janice Dickinson by Jenn Hoffman)

You’d think that working with such high-profile subjects would drive anyone absolutely insane from anxiety, but Hoffman says that with her, that isn’t the case. “It doesn’t bother me anymore” Hoffman says about her nerves, “I used to get nervous before agency model shoots, but now it’s a breeze because it’s part of me. It’s a privilege!”

But, putting together these shoots isn’t easy. Each of Hoffman’s shoots usually take at least 3 hours to complete, and even more prep work before anyone sets foot in the studio; “Honestly, there is a lot of computer work, loads of e-mails, and constant networking” says Hoffman, but the creative process behind her work is more than worth the hassle; “All of [my concepts] I have thought of. I do believe a great team can make a huge impact on the final shots as well. My red phone picture [shown below] was a spur of the moment shot!”. It’s refreshing to see someone still so passionate about this craft to be truly devoted to it, even in free time, to constantly come up with the brilliant and striking concepts that Hoffman produces. She even incorporates very powerful religious imagery into some of her more artistic pieces, most notably one in which she used a male model to represent Jesus dying on the cross; “I chose the perfect model for that, Jesse Holland. He got into character beyond belief” she says of her careful process of selecting models for projects like this. But what’s more interesting about art like this withinin contemporary photography is that the religious theme is so overt. “I think other art inspires me to create my own,” Hoffman says, “the fact that I can make my own lifestyle and create art with many different people is rewarding…I do have a Christianity [sic] about me, and this shoot just depicts an icon in life. Jesus is an icon.”

Photobucket(above: Photo by Jenn Hoffman)

It’s clear that Hoffman is as dedicated to her craft as any true artist is, but her ideal way of life that she lives every day almost didn’t happen at all. Hoffman’s early life in Raleigh, North Carolina almost steered her on a completely different path, one that didn’t include the art of photography at all. “My original major was graphic design” she says, “but I realized that wasn’t my forte.” After a random occurrence at the age of 17  in which she witnessed a friend transform a common shoe on the side of the road into a piece of envisioned photographic art, she realized photography was her true passion; after taking a photography course in Raleigh, Hoffman began a new course which would take her to the successful place in which she’s comfortably sitting right now. “I was fascinated by the way photographing something was so fun and adventurous. I then started shooting models, kept going and going, then decided to move to LA to pursue the dream!” Now residing just outside of Los Angeles, it seems as if the dream is already being lived.

But the road to success wasn’t always easy. Hoffman, at one point a struggling photographer like so many others, says she’s felt like giving up; “Sometimes in this field of freelancing, you feel like giving up either due to finances or the slowness of business, but I keep telling myself to go and go! I really could not imagine doing any other job!” Thankfully, Hoffman’s stuck with the craft, because the images this photographer produces are some of the most stunning shots this side of Vogue.

Photobucket(above: Photo by Jenn Hoffman)

Art is ever-present in today’s society, and that presence is growing day by day. “I think other art inspires me to create my own. Other photographers are an inspiration to me as well…[photography] is an addiction you cannot explain,” Hoffman says, “It really is about the way you connect with your subject and the way you put passion into your work that will make it ‘good’ or ‘successful’.” But as far as labeling goes, within the art world it’s easy to become pigeonholed into a generalized category in which you specialize, and Hoffman feels very strongly about her place in the industry; “I consider myself to be an artist, not a photographer” she says with a smile. And trust me, the rest of the world sees you that way too, Jenn.

Jenn Hoffman Photography – Official Site

(below: Brian Kehoe and Paul Vandervort, photo by Jenn Hoffman)


Lauren Utter: When Art Itself Becomes the Artist


Lauren Utter, one of the most complex and interesting individuals to appear on Tyra Banks’ America’s Next Top Model, often finds herself as the subject of an artist’s vision; she is a model, therefore, becoming the art itself. However, Lauren’s interests extend beyond just posing to create provocative images; she is an artist herself, creating fabulously avant garde pieces that speak volumes within themselves. I’ve had the great pleasure of talking to Lauren on a few occasions and she’s really a blast and great fun to shoot the shit with, and her artwork definitely reflects the mind (and raw talent) of a true artist.

Lauren is currently selling older pieces from her collection, and it would definitely be in your best interest to pick one up. You can click here to view more of her extensive repertoire. Contact info and pricing are all available at the top of the page. This girl is really passionate about what she does, so please help her out and buy some of her amazing artwork!

Look for a PopSmut interview with Lauren in the coming weeks.


Milla Jovovich Reveals New “iCB” Teasers; Far Cry from “Jovovich-Hawk”

Milla Jovovich has always been one of my favorite figures in contemporary pop culture. An anomaly within the fashion world, Jovovich has managed to escape the snooty, agenda-ized, better-than-you demeanor most of her supermodel compatriots fell victim to (I’m looking at you, Tyra) shortly after their careers took off. But after being discovered by the legendary Richard Avedon when she was barely even a teenager, Jovovich took the artistic high road and took advantage of the opportunities superstardom had afforded her; free-reign over fine arts. She’s been singing (and writing) fantastic folk-rock music for years on top of her modeling, yet Jovovich also has an impressive track record in something else; design.

The ill-fated “Jovovich-Hawk”, a collaborative effort by Milla and fellow model Carmen Hawk, debuted its first collection in 2003 to extremely positive reviews from contemporary fashion critics. The sleek yet altogether rustic folk designs, at least in their presentation, evoked the truly layered, complex (yet still grounded) quality Jovovich has retained through years of modeling with the pretentiously uptight fashion elite.


As with many up-and-coming fashion lines, Jovovich-Hawk eventually folded; after what seemed to be a promising first five years (designs were worn in public by the likes of Mary-Kate Olsen, as well as a commercial-consumer line produced for Target)  the pair produced their final pieces for the Spring/Summer 2008 season and subsequently ceased operations. I can’t say I’m surprised, seeing as the whole “rustic chic” look can be very easily (and for much less money) recreated with a quick trip to urban outfitters (or even a local vintage store), but Jovovich-Hawk’s designs evoked a much classier, sophisticated hidden elegance within the seams that set them apart from fellow lines. Their work took time to appreciate; they weren’t immediately striking or enticing; they were true pieces of surprising work that were as layered and complex as the past of the woman who helped design them. A true mashing of contemporary rustic chic with classic 20’s and folk infusion combined to make Jovovich-Hawk one of the most refreshing lines in recent memory.

It’s always truly uplifting to see someone remain so encompassed and rooted within the arts as Jovovich is, considering her career would wholly suggest otherwise (she’s a cult action film icon and has appeared in Men’s spreads for Maxim), so it’s truly inspiring to see her designing (and modeling) skills still utilized after the discontinuation of her own line. Her first campaign for Japanese-based line iCB debuted earlier this year, designs that were completely polariazed from the likes of Milla’s Jovovich-Hawk days. Slim, almost mod-inspired pieces were showcased alongside more masculine, streamlined offerings combined together to create sophisticatedly-chic designs that are yet still easily pairable with other off-the-rack products.


Jovovich released this teaser (as well as the first photo in this article) for her upcoming designs for iCB today:


I can’t say I’m either impressed or unimpressed as of yet (the shot looks like a direct cellphone-to-computer capture) but Milla does look extremely fierce and as beautiful as ever. The top half of that design reminds me a bit of a cosmopolitan schoolgirl take on some previous Jovovich-Hawk pieces, but I’m sure (as always) Milla’s end product will be a true work of art.

Kelis’ New “4th of July” Video is Fire, Fans Flames for “Flesh Tone”


Please please PLEASE click here to see Kelis’ freaking amazing new video for the brilliant single “4th of July (Fireworks). Kelis’ new electronica/dance makeover is the epitome of artistic reinvention and I’m wholly impressed with the dramatic shift in genres that only a true icon in music is capable of. It’s a shame these singles aren’t tearing up the charts, this is honestly Kelis best work since the Kaleidoscope days. The buzz for this thing absolutely NEEDS to build, visionary aesthetic (and phonetic) artistry like this should never go unnoticed.

The new album, Flesh Tone, bumps it’s way into stores on July 6th (an eternity away, if you ask me).

New Musical Obsession: Maluca’s “El Tigeraso”


Click here to have your mind blown. The ever-fabulous Diplo and relatively new underground artist Maluca collaborate on what is arguably the most intense, pulsating, I’m-gonna-shut-shit-down-when-this-comes-on-at-the-club song I’ve heard in a really long time. I need say nothing more…listen for yourself and thank me later.

Trainwreck Results: ANTM’s Krista White Shoots a Portfolio

I still can’t believe that this…



…won cycle 14 over the likes of this:

Well at least the latter is actually working. She’s had the cover of Harper’s Bazaar Dubai already, and is working some go-sees as we speak, and also got signed to the same agency Krista’s prize allowed her to sign with. Well, we give Krista about a Saleisha-sized run with Wilhelmina (the agency for which the above test shots were taken)…on shaky ground for a couple months, then a contract slash from 3 years to 1. Sorry, boo, hand-picked-by-Tyra winners don’t go over well in the fashion world. Your audience isn’t as dumb and quick-to-mindlessly-follow you as you think, Miss Banks. Maybe (just maybe) give them a bit more credit the next time you decide to fuck a perfectly good cycle up. Perhaps your shit should be together for Cycle 15, because the girl who wins that is actually going to be on the cover of a relevant renowned fashion magazine (Italian Vogue, anyone?). Oh well.

And while we’re on the subject, it’s very clear to me that the reason why ANTM is regarded as such a joke in the fashion industry is thanks to none other than Tyra Banks herself. I mean, it wasn’t quite as clear from the beginning that the winners were in fact pre-packaged, hand-picked toys of Tyra’s trade (Adrianne, for one, seemed like a truly legitimate winner in the hot-ghetto-mess that was Cycle 1), but as the series limped along, it became entirely apparent by Cycle 3 that these girls who were “winning” the competition just seemed to fit whatever agenda Tyra had in mind at the time. A plus-sized winner coincided with Tyra’s embarrassingly hilarious “Kiss My Fat Ass” era, and a black girl has won every 3rd cycle since Eva’s disastrous 2005 triumph (Tyra is incessantly vocal about african american girls not being fairly represented in the fashion world).


The exploiting of tragic sob-stories has been a key point in Tyra’s marketing of the show as well; we’ve seen girls who have fallen victim to the likes of kidnapping, genital mutilation, same-sex rape, homelessness, and even some who’ve been forcibly entered into underground sex cults where children are the valued sexual object (no, I’m not making this up). The over-emphasis on the dramatics surrounding these girls’ lives only makes for interesting televions perhaps much better suited for Banks’ discontinued talk show, but certainly not within the context of a modeling competition. And as much as I’d like to disbelieve it, Banks does indeed have a group of loyal, blind followers who will gladly accept the fact that the trainwreck mess that was Angelea Preston (of Cycle 14) was actually capable of modeling simply because she lost her daughter to a disease years ago. The truth is that while Angelea’s story is heartbreaking, that does in no way, shape, or form make her a model.

Drama-free and fashion-forward, Australia’s Next Top Model has produced some truly groundbreaking talent who have taken the fashion world by storm (Alice Burdeu, people?). As much as Tyra wants to preach about self-acceptance and redefining what is classically “beautiful”, perhaps she should find herself a much sturdier soapbox to stand on because the girls she’s using to do it might be loud, but the only thing they’re representing is the worn-out agenda of a self-inflated fading icon.

Tuesday Takeover: Kathy Griffin Returns Tonight


Today marks the first day in a long while that we’ve been bombarded with any and all things Kathy Griffin. And I’m certainly not complaining. The hilarious comic goddess made appearances on “The Today Show” as well as “The View” to promote the upcoming sixth season of the outrageously successful Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, which makes it’s return at 9 pm tonight on the Bravo TV network.

The two-time Emmy-winning series returns tonight with a very special guest appearance from Liza Minelli herself. Need I say more? I couldn’t be more excited.

Preceeding the premiere will be Griffin’s latest stand-up special Kathy Griffin Does the Bible Belt, chock-full with more of her celebrity-bashing antics and bitchily spot-on observations about the superfically superficial celebrity scene.

Look for a full PopSmut review of the season premiere of My Life on the D-List later tomorrow.

Until then, I’ve got my box of wine (Maggie Griffin style) and cake soup (season 5, anyone!?) by my side anxiously awaiting the Queen of Comedy’s (hopefully) brilliant return.

Bionic on the Dancefloor; Short-Circuiting Everywhere Else



Christina Aguilera: Bionic (2010), RCA Records

The Verdict: B-

Standout Tracks: “You Lost Me“, “Desnudate“, “Bionic

The word “bionic” can mean so many different things. It’s a word that evokes ideas of superhuman strength, grandiose power, and universal superiority despite it’s phonetic simplicity. Undoubtedly this provocative interpretation of the word is what pop superstar Christina Aguilera had in mind upon choosing a name for her highly-anticipated and heavily-discussed fourth full-length studio album, Bionic, released just last week to an expected smattering of minor praise from both contemporary critics as well as consumers. The album’s lukewarm reception is no surprise, considering Aguilera’s highly-anticipated road of return has been marred by countless schoolyard accusations of copycatting; the first single, “Not Myself Tonight” and it’s accompanying music video were deemed as rip-offs of both Lady Gaga and Madonna, something celebrity gossip columnist Perez Hilton actively crusaded against, prompting countless masses to question the legitimacy of the once-princess-of-pop’s latest foray into the shark-infested music-culture airwaves.

But now that everyone’s had a chance to finally experience what Xtina has been working on so dilligently for the past 4 years, what’s consumed her and forced her from the public eye into what we thought was some sort of dark bat-cave of creative energy, what’s taken the help of millions of dollars and hordes of top-name producers and songwriters to concoct, the end product could only be a pop masterpiece, right? Perez is just a hater, Christina won’t let us down, right? Sadly, in spite of all the aforementioned preparation and anticipation, the pop-induced music-euphoria-overload coma we all hoped to slip into upon first-listen of Bionic only amounts to little more than a quick shot-to-the-head buzz from a few Well drinks on a sleazy Friday night.


The album opens with the title track aptly proclaiming Aguilera’s status as a “bionic” woman; it’s standard swagg-pop fare with an enticing beat. Hints of dub-step, reggaeton, and even dancehall ring through the electronic whirlwind of sounds from the mastermind Switch, who’s worked with the likes of Amanda Blank and the collaborative Major Lazer. Thanks to this track the album starts off on the right foot -not a brilliant one- but the right one. But as the album prances through it’s first half and the alcohol (admittedly, as in the lyrics of “Not Myself Tonight” suggest) begins to flow and the beats become more intense, they also become more generic; the tipsy mess begins to manifest itself and stumble it’s way through the club. The dance-oriented first half of the album (and a select few tracks from the second half) contain the bulk of the heavy production from the likes of the aforementioned superstar producers but also contributions from M.I.A., Ester Dean, Pollow da Don, Sia, Le Tigre, and Nicki Minaj. Utilizing such brilliant masterminds of music sounds like an absolutely epic move on Aguilera’s part. However, the problem at the core of Bionic begins to manifest itself through the contributions of such individualized, distinctive producers and writers; the songs begin to sound more like the artists who contributed to them more than Christina.

The production was utilized all wrong here. What should have been true creative collaborations here feel more like Christina simply covering a song by the respective writer; “Elastic Love” sounds like a direct cut from M.I.A.’s forthcoming LP, and the Le Tigre-crafted “My Girls” recalls just about every upbeat song the band has had since their career began. And even more shocking is the fact that Aguilera’s voice, the one true thing that has made her an icon herself, is diminished by the production and collaboration that’s going into the songs she’s singing. Her intentionally-lackluster, somewhat-whiny-offbeat tone in “Elastic Love” sounds more like a mimicry of M.I.A.’s similar vocal stylings, and Christina’s pathetic attempts at the “hard”-ness of Nicki Minaj in “Woohoo” sounds like a poor attempt at role playing instead of the committed diva we’ve grown accustomed to. One giant miscalculation here is clearly the overemphasis on production in favor of originality; in 20 years no one is going to remember who produced the tracks on your album. I mean, who can honestly say they know who crafted the likes of “Candyman” or “Beautiful”? The answer is no one. What people do remember, however, is the voice. That’s what’s made this woman a world-renowned icon. It’s what made her mastery of generic pop tunes a multi-platinum debut album ten years ago. It’s what got the world to notice, because albums like this don’t get noticed when they’re Freshman, because if Bionic were Aguilera’s first offering, there’d be no Aguilera albums to review in the future.


Christina’s other major misstep is that she seems stuck in a character throughout the entire venture, trying to be something she’s not, mimicking the sounds of the people she’s enlisted the help of instead of conquering the material and putting the signature Christina stamp on tracks like we’ve seen her do in the past. Not a single song on the entire album can even come close to the iconic status she’s given us before. The tracks all lack distinctive pop hooks and choruses Aguilera’s humungous and empowering voice has familiarized us with in years prior (think “Fighter” or “Aint No Other Man”) and the production overrules the voice in nearly every single song, something that should by all means never occur when you have a voice as unique and distinctive as Aguilera does. And when you lose your voice within production and you lose your identity inside an overplayed and overdone (at least in contemporary pop music) character, you become intangible (not in a good way), and that’s exactly what’s happened to Aguilera here. I’m confused about whether I should be cranking up my shot-taking, booty popping self for tracks like “Desnudate” or trying to connect with her as a familially-complacent mother on “All I Need”?

This harsh shift from the club to the domesticated (and…um…broken, apparently…but we’ll get to that in a second) home on the album’s second half feels like a disheveled attempt to package in some powerhouse vocals to offset the club-induced ringing in your ears. They’re not altogether bad, though, they just feel largely disconnected (both lyrically and phonetically) from the raving dance mess that’s been barraging us with beats and coccaine for the past half hour of listening. The transitory “Sex For Breakfast” is a snooze and adequately brings us down from the high. The album then takes the very odd turn into the out-of-synch ballads that cause a lyrical kafuffle with the rest of the LP. Going from the first half’s bad-life-decisions, eat-my-pussy, “bisexual” party monster to the happily-settled mother and then to the bitter-he-cheated ex-girlfriend all in a span of 10 tracks does not create balanced lyrical cohesion in the slightest.

Amidst these ballads and down-tempo pop offerings lies the album’s standout track, “You Lost Me”, this bitter-he-cheated ex-girlfriend track I mentioned before contains the best presentation of Aguilera’s vocals and mastery-of-a-song-she-didn’t-write (no, I don’t count “co-writing” as fully writing a song) the album has to offer. She commits, she steps out of the character she’s crafted at the beginning of the album, and lets her voice go. The track truly benefits from this, considering it’s lyrically stale and similarly out-of-touch with the rest of the album (perhaps the love was lost because you were kissing ALL the boys and the girls a little earlier?) as so many of the other ballads on the album are. But it’s truly refreshing to catch a glimpse of the softness the direction in which the album could have gone.


What made Back to Basics, Aguilera’s 2006 LP, so fantastic was that the emphasis was clearly on showcasing the vocal ability of Aguilera and not exploiting her pop product status, infusing her raw talent with slick yet original (and not detracting) production that complimented her voice instead of overshadowing it.  Tracks like “You Lost Me” belong on an album like that, for she surely has outgrown her pop-product beginnings by now, but Bionic is clinging to that past like Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM bracelet clings to her ankle. The album flits in two entirely separate directions not unified by lyrics or sound, containing tracks either too overtly raunchy and flirty or far too subdued; there’s no middle ground with Bionic, it’s simply a preacher without a soapbox. It’s an album that reflects a pop product in favor of a truly identified and legendary artist that Christina, by all means, was heading for with Back to Basics.

There’s a reason Aguilera is far more sucsceptible to people’s scrutiny than, say, the likes of Britney Spears or other pop artists whose careers blossomed at the same time as hers; they stuck with their pop product roots. And it’s not entirely Christina’s fault that she’s sort of grown away from that into a more elegant and respected artist; her voice separates and places her above the products so prevalent in contemporary music. Christina is a standard in music, she has a certain air of respect and elegance surrounding her (simply due to the strength of her voice) that Bionic doesn’t acknowledge. Britney Spears is allowed to produce mindless dance-pop and still be respected, that’s what Britney does and that’s what she’s always done. People don’t listen to Britney for her voice, they listen because Britney is just one hell of a good time. Christina is different. Her voice is a treasure, a voice that doesn’t belong on standard pop-fare like Bionic. A voice that’s timeless, that shouldn’t be conformed or compromised to sound like it “fits” with a backing production.


In the end, I can’t say I wholeheartedly dislike Bionic. There really are some fantastic, slick tracks on this album that will assuredly find their way to the clubs (and certainly have already found their way onto my workout playlists). The overtly confident, self-loving vanity tracks (one in particular titled…well..”Vanity”) fall into this category as well, but something rings false about them. They’re danceable and hip, yes, but lyrically they reflect a monarch whose fallen out of favor with her subjects, as do so many of the songs on this album. The closing line of Bionic (Aguilera asking us to remember who “owns” the throne and her son answering “you do, mommy”) seems like a stroke of shear brilliance upon first-listen, but it comes off of more a threatened cry for the spotlight of a fallen diva instead of a proclaimation of truth. The obvious doesn’t need to be stated if, in fact, the obvious is true, and something is surely prompting this constant theme of royal self-promotion that runs as a common thread throughout many tracks on Bionic.  Christina’s voice isn’t one to be shoved into the mindless dance, swagg pop category like this…she’s capable of so much more. From any other artist, Bionic would be throwaway pop fluff, but for Christina it’s…well…throwaway pop fluff; fiercely danceable, entertaining for a while, with absolutely no staying power whatsoever, something that should by no means bear Christina Aguilera’s name at this stage in her career. Shocking just to shock is a Christina we’ve already seen, and Bionic feels wholeheartedly like Christina’s been playing catch up in a race she’s previously led for quite some time.